Happy New Year!

I know it's not the New Year for many of you, but for us Jews - it is. I have only been a Jew officially for about 7 years (despite my Dad and his family being Jewish - long story) - man, I can't believe it's been 7 years.... Anyway the New Year starting in September just works for me. I think it's because I spent so many years in school, but I always feel like this is the time to start anew. So in the spirit of the New Year - I want to look back at the last year and think about the year ahead. As a Jew part of my reflection on the last year is supposed to focus on the things I did that I'm not so proud of. I'm supposed to make amends with any people I've hurt. I'm supposed to repent and pray and then I can truly start anew. I join most Jewish parents in reflecting on what the relationships with people around me. I think I'm a pretty good daughter. My Mom and I have a great relationship. I try to spend time with her and support her. I try not to take advantage of her natural giving spirit. I express my appreciation when she gives of her time, talents or with things. I also have a good relationship with my Dad. We spend less time together, but we get closer every year. He is fighting cancer at the moment, so the next year will be a little scary until that is done. The idea that names are sealed in the Book of Life on Yom Kippur weighs heavily on my mind. I don't normally take that literally, but it's hard not to in this circumstance. I don't think I'm as good of a mother as I am a daughter - it's a lot harder. I am not as patient as I should be. I lose my temper and I yell. It's not good modeling for them. I do try to give my children my time and attention, but that is also hard because we are so busy. I am certainly supportive in terms of providing opportunities and attending various extracurricular activities. I do know the children know I love them. They come to me when they have questions or concerns or need help. They are affectionate. They are generally good kids, so they aren't suffering too much for my inadequecies. As a wife, I have still more work to do. My patience level with Curling Man is also not as high as it should be. We are too independent - and not interdependent enough. I don't express my appreciation enough for the many things he does for our family. We don't spend enough time talking about what's working and what's not in our lives. Time slips by and the kind word is left unsaid - and only problems get discussed. I am not the counselor at law that I should be. I have many days when I am frustrated at work. Some of my clients are particulalrly needy and negative. I am not as generous as I would like to be with my time, attention and sympathy. I find myself being judgmental and ultimately short with them. I then find myself escaping by turning to the internet or facebook during the day. I am in essence stealing time from my employer. I am a good colleague. My co-workers can depend on my to listen and to help when help is needed. I am a pretty good friend. I do nurture my relationships with people I care about. I may not be in contact with all of them as often as I might like, but they are not negelected. I am not always so good to myself. I don't take care of myself all of the time. I have put on weight in the last year. I didn't exercise much and I haven't dealt with stress very proactively.

So, for the next year - what will I work on. I have started with myself. I have a renewed commitment to taking care of my physical self. I am doing LA Weight Loss or 26 weeks. I am starting week 4 and I am down 8 pounds. It is not easy. I am such an emotional eater. I think about food all of the time. It's so hard to find time to cook healthily, and I don't like many vegetables. The program does seem to work. The accountability is good for me. I go about 2 times per week. I have more energy and more desire to exercise, which is a very good thing. I do think I will lose the 35 pounds I have decided to lose. Because I am committed to eating healthier - my family also benefits - I buy better food to eat at home and we eat out less. I also have found myself taking Hockey girl out hiking and doing more active things with her. I am modeling a healthier lifestyle, as well. I will also work on my patience. I think the more organized can be, the less likely I am to get behind and feel stressed - which will allow me to be more patient. It will also free up time to spend with Curling Man and the kids. I can't believe how much the kids have grown up in the past year. They have matured a lot. They still fight - which drives me crazy and contributes to my stress-level and lack of patience, but it's less then it used to be. They are coming home after school togther, and they have been doing their homework, being responsible and not fighting. It's a pleasure. I am going to be a better wife and a better employee. It's going to be a good new year! L'Shanah Tovah!